Thursday, November 18, 2010

Time To Be Honest

I debated on starting a new blog, which was why I was away for the last couple of days.  Just trying to figure out things, and deciding on what I am going to do next.

I came to the conclusion that I'm going to just stick with one blog, be honest, and besides keeping up with one blog will be easier than having two. 

I feel a lot of the time I am not 100% honest...honest with myself.  I am speaking of my weight issue, health issues, and my all around happiness.  I spend a lot of time pretending that I don't have a weight issue, by eating whatever I want to, not fully accepting my Diabetes, and allowing myself to have bad days without feeling guilty. 

My Weight:

For someone with the wealth of information that I have about health, clean eating, Non Processed ect. you would think that I would be skinny Mini.  But that is not the case.  And you want to know why?  Cause I don't practice what I know.  I preach and share with others what I know, but in turn don't follow my own advise.  I often think, Who would follow what I have to say when I look the way I do?...Taking Health advise from a Fat girl.  I want to change this!!!  I want to inspire others by my actions not my words!!!
I try to act like I do not have a weight issue when I am around others.  By this I mean, I usually eat what I want, even though I know I shouldn't.  Cause Heaven For Bid someone know that I'm on some sort of diet.  But really I have to face the fact, just looking at me they know I have a weight issue.  I guess I just have to get over it.  And besides, why do I feel that being on a diet is shameful?  When really I am helping myself become healthier.  So I should be really shouting it from the roof tops!!! 

I Am Diabetic

I know I have shared my story of being diabetic on my blog before, but thats about as far as it goes.  Again I was feeling shame.  That I let myself get so out of sorts that, that was what caused my diabetes.  That is was my fault, and that I am a bad person for not realizing earlier that I had a problem. 
The other night I was checking my blood sugars at work on break and a fellow co-worker "caught me" and asked if I was diabetic cause they were too.  And it was the first time I shared that with anyone.  I don't plan on yelling this from the roof tops, but I am not going to feel any shame!  Checking my blood sugars shouldn't be embarrassing, it shows that I am taking control!!!  I just have to remember this!

Everyone Has a Bad Day

I have to remember this.  I feel extreme guilt when I have a bad day.  It goes into the evening, apologizing to my husband, then I go to bed feeling this way, and wake up still feeling guilty.  Guilt that I didn't show enough attention to Angelina the day before, not cleaning as much as I should, not fixing a healthy dinner, ect, and thats not a good way to start a day off!  So I am done feeling this way.  Who cares if I through in corn dogs for dinner, at least we ate.  Who cares if I didn't vacuum the kitchen and bathroom floors, the dust bunnies aren't going anywhere.  And Angelina's needs are attended to, and she still loves me even though I didn't play that game she wanted to.  I just have to let myself have a bad day once in a while, right?

Even though I have always been honest on this blog, it was time to get honest with myself.  I have a long road ahead of myself, but I refuse to stop the journey!  A rest stop here and there, but I must keep going. 

I have a feeling that this blog is going to turn in the direction of my weight loss and getting my diabetes in control.  Please let me know if you would like to see me start a new blog for just that purpose and keep this blog the way its started! 

Friday, November 12, 2010

Its Finished

The Quilt that is!

I finished it this morning after what happened last night.  Here are a few shots of it...and yes I am already cutting out another pattern....this time PJ Pants for Miss Angelina!!!!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Ok I Can Take A Hint

One thing goes wrong, ok, two things go wrong, WFT, three things go wrong, TIME TO GO TO BED!!!

I was hoping to put the finishing touches on my quilt tonight.  I had the binding left to do, so I was pretty confident I could do it.  Well its taking a lot longer then I expected, but its alright.  I then decided to "Stitch in the Ditch" instead of hand sew around the quilt.  (Since I didn't have a needle to hand stitch with, I know you can roll your eyes now lol)
Well for whatever reason I guess it was a bad decision.  It was one of those decisions I spent all evening going back and forth.  But once I was done ironing the binding, I was just so close to finishing it, I decided to not wait until tomorrow to go to the fabric store to get a needle, and just GET IT DONE TONIGHT!
I guess the stars had other plans, and things kept going wrong...

1.) My needle broke on the machine...luckily I had some already here at home, so no biggie I'll change it.

2.) The bobbin runs out  (And I didn't have any in reserve) ok getting frustrated, about to call it a night, but nah I can change the bobbin.

3.) The thread runs out in the middle of threading the bobbin.

OK I give up for tonight.  For whatever reason I just wasn't "supposed" to finish this quilt tonight.  Yes I have more thread, but I just feel I ignored two signs to call it a night, and by the third it was just time to listen!

Off to bed, frustrated, mad, bummed...and sad

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

I will have an hour and 1/2 left of Wednesday right?  Here ya go!

P.S. Still not done!  LOL

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Suspence Can Be Fun

Especially if you are on my side!

Two parenting lessons happened today and I wish to share it! But my favorite show is on :-)
Parenthood! Seems fitting for my post don't ya think?

So tomorrow bright and early I will tell my tale!

Night night

Monday, November 8, 2010

I Am So Proud Of....

...I bet you thought I was going to say Angelina.  :-)

But nope I'm going to say, Me and My Sister Kelli!!!

We started our own little exercising routine thingy together.  We are Walking Away the Pounds every morning!  I let her borrow one of my many WATP Dvds and we are each doing at least a mile and two miles if its a day off from work.  We started a week ago (Tuesday Nov 2nd)  we both took Saturday off from exercising, but other then that we haven't missed a day! 

One highlight of my day is when I get to text her "One Mile of WATP DONE!!!!" 

Thanks Sis' for the motivation!!!

P.S. I have lost 1 pound so far!!!  I'll have to ask her if she's weighed in or not.  Either way, I bet she's feeling great!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

A Fun Sunday

My work gave me today off.  I usually have to request weekend days off to get them...but today I was just given it.  It was nice to not have plans per se.  Even though we did have a fun day!

We woke up early, which didn't feel too early cause of the Time Clock Change this morning.  Then we took a drive up North for breakfast.  Beth's Cafe, for you Non-Locals, its a whole in the wall cafe that serves the most amazing food.  Open 24 hrs, and you can order anything off the menu at any time during the day.  They are most famous for their 12 egg omelet.  If you watch Man Vs Food, you may have seen the episode that he visited Beth's Cafe. 

Today was the second time we have been there, and just as good as the first.  Oh yeah and All You Can Eat Hash browns!!!  :-)

After breakfast we went to Costco and had to get Coffee, and I picked up a nice warm pair of winter gloves.  Mainly to take walks with as its getting chillier here.  Then my sister and I went to Target, where I picked up a brown sheet to use as the backing of my quilt!  Its getting closer to being finished.

Which brings me to the rest of my day, sewing!!!  I got the top all finished.  And was uber excited to sit on the couch and try it out.  Its going to be the most perfect throw blanket for the couch!  I'm going to work on the border next, and hopefully have that part finished tomorrow. 

Well its clean up time, bath time for Angelina, and then bed time!  This weekend went fast!  Hope you all enjoyed yours!!!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

What I Have Been Working On

My oh My days go by so fast.  I have to be at work in an hour, but I wanted to share what I have been working on.  Hope everyone had a great Saturday.  Tomorrow I have off, and we are going out to breakfast, and then spend all day in our pjs!  Heck I might even wear my Pjs to breakfast!  LOL

Friday, November 5, 2010

Busy Day

Even though I woke to the alarm at 5:30 to get a good start on the day, I still run out of time.

I felt good this morning.  Woke up and exercised right away.  Lovely One Mile WATP this morning.  Took my shower and got all ready.  Then I worked on my quilt until Angelina woke up.  Then we took a walk to Starbucks for some Hot Chocolate, then walked to the grocery store to get some items I needed for the kitchen.  Walked home, and made home made pizza for a late lunch.  Angelina my picky eater even ate some! 

Now Angelina is taking a bath, she gets to go with her Daddy to a work Bowling Evening get together.  I have to go to work.  So there you have it, my busy day, but what a fine day it was.

I have an hour left before work and I plan on just relaxing on the couch reading my book.  The Hunger Games.  Have a great Friday Evening Everyone!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Shortest Post Ever

Good Night!

Haha, well I can't just leave it at that....but I was busy today.  I managed to do my exercising DVD this morning and walked for 2 miles.  Did random stuff around the house and even walked to the store in the evening time.  So a good exercising day.  I spent a good portion of my free time today working on my quilt, finally!  I have 14 rows, and they are all sewn together, minus two rows in the middle where I have to come up with another idea, as the original plan isn't going to work.  But that's the fun part about doing your own quilt with no patter!!!  Yahoo for that!
More tomorrow on my exercising plan, food plan, video plan, work schedule, and Life In General!  Good Night Everyone!!!!  Much Love!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

On Sale Now

I don't think I have mentioned it on my blog yet, but I am making Duct Tape Wallets and am selling them.  I have made a handful for family and friends, and many have gotten I decided to try the Etsy thing.  LOL 

Its been a lot of fun making them.  I first started off by watching a Youtube instructional video, and I have since been making them using my own pattern.  I have make Bi-Fold, Tri-Fold, and just started trying out Coin Pouches.  I have discovered that snaps work real well with duct tape, and look decorative while being useful.

I love making something with my hands, and its a great feeling when you have a finished product that is actually usable.  :-)  Here are some pictures of the wallets I added to my shop today.  I'll list my shop's address at the end in case any of you are curious about the others.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Our Bodies Are Smarter Then We Are

Why is it when you can't have something, you want it all the more?

This can be anything from Food, to Love, to More Time, to even things like a new car, or new job.  The min. we say NO to ourselves, its the same min we want it even more then before.  Or we get reminders of it, we start seeing that new car everywhere, we see commercials of that Dairy Queen Blizzard, the clock seems to tick faster.  I'm sure everyone has experienced this before.

My experience today is that of Food.  Yesterday's Post I shared how I wasn't going to deprive myself of anything.  I'm done giving up Meat, Dairy, Food in general, and even though its only been 1/2 of a day, I'm feeling great.  Better then I have felt in a long time.  I woke up this morning, exercised by walking 1 mile to my DvD.  I had energy and the drive to make home made pancakes for breakfast, and only had 3 small ones, a teeny bit of syrup with cut up pears on top.  I felt no need to sneak a piece of Halloween candy, strange as that is.

Me and Angelina walked to Safeway to pick up her new movie that she knew came out on TUESDAY!  Toy Story 3.  If you have never tried Safeway's Chinese Express, I urge you to.  Its great tasting Chinese Food, on a budget.  Most times whenever I walk over there I take lunch home with me, feeling guilty as I do.  Today I didn't even have the slightest craving for it, strange once again.

Since I have given up dairy, and processed foods, I have been craving Kraft Mac and Cheese, like no other!  Today at Safeway when you bought Toy Story 3, you got a few items for free, one being a box of Kraft Mac and Cheese Toy Story Shapes.  We got home, getting ready to fix lunch, and amazingly enough the drive to have Mac and Cheese was no longer there, and we had a tuna sandwich instead!  Unbelievably Strange with a capital S!!!

This just proves to me that its not a good idea to tell yourself NO to things.  That your body, an amazing machine, will take care of itself. 

Enjoy your Tuesday!!!! 

Have any of you experienced this first hand?  I'm curious!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Is Giving Up Something Always the Right Road?

I am not sure what it was this evening, but something got me thinking.  Does Dieting mean Giving Up Something?  Or Should it mean that rather.  This is still a debate for me. 

Ever since I have felt the need to lose weight (Junior'ish in High school)  I have felt that I had to give up something to get the weight off.  Now I know giving up candy bars is necessary, but I'm not talking about Candy, or the obvious things here. 

Through out the end of my high school years I dabbled in giving up food all together.  I remember clearly eating little to nothing during the day, but not being able to continue once I got home.  I never lost weight. 

About a year after I graduated, I did it again.  This time it worked.  I was able to get through the day with little to nothing to eat, and I was showing results.  It was easier this time around because I was busy with College, Work, and Tutoring.  This went on until I met Mike, which was in 2003.  Then I fell in love, and got comfortable, and gained all of what I lost and then some. 

I remember at one point I wanted to lose the weight and new I couldn't give up food, so I gave up Carbs.  That didn't work, so I gave up Sugar, ALL SUGAR.  At this point we got married and pregnant, and baby fat was cute to have :-)  I didn't think about dieting for months after having Angelina.  But then the urge to give up food snuck up again.  Needless to say it didn't work.

Then I decided to give up Meat, then it was all processed foods, when that wasn't giving me the results, I just moved on to something else to "give up" 

I am currently not consuming Dairy.  I thought I would try it for a week and see what happens. 

I think I have some sort of mentality that I have to Give Up something.  Like I am punishing myself.  Or disguising my want to lose weight.  I was discussing this is Mike, and I mentioned, maybe I have the need to cover up what I'm doing, the end result is to lose weight, but I have to tell people that I am not eating "something" so they wouldn't know I'm actually on a diet.  Is this making sense to anyone out there?  Wow I am a mess aren't I?

So this is where this leads me.  I am not going to deprive myself of anything.  I am going to just use small portion control, listen to my body when I'm full, and just LIVE!!!!  No worries, and see how I feel.  Of course I will keep you all updated, and if anyone has any thoughts or suggestions or anything that you think might help me out, please let me know!!!

P.S. I know how bad not eating is, and I will never do that again!  Thanks for always reading!  Hugs!